Years ago I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions, since most (all) of us break them within a week, anyway. To make people think I am all righteous and eager to improve my sorry self, I do make a list; however, the list contains only things I already do in my daily life. Therefore, I cannot fail! I feel such a sense of superiority: I am the one person who manages to keep their resolutions. I am inspired by the esteemed Einstein who said, “The only sure way to avoid making mistakes is to have no new ideas.” Now, Einstein was trying to motivate people to generate new ideas and risk making mistakes, but if I twist his words just right I can use them for the opposite purpose: to avoid having any new ideas. 

  Do you too need a self-esteem boost?  Try creating your own sneaky version of resolution list. 

English: New Year's Day postcard mailed in 190...

New Year’s Day postcard mailed in 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  • Eat a little too much everyday.
  • Snuggle with my dog
  • Sleep in whenever I can
  • Preach about materialism, buy all the new outdoor gear and several more Kindles
  • Clean my house only when visitors come from out-of-state
  • Put up 3 dozen jars of pickles from my home grown cukes
  • Write a sermon every week
  • Forget where I put everything
  • Sit on my sofa and watch birds outside fighting for seeds and peanuts
  • Eat more beef
  • Grow more rebellious every day, regress mentally back to 20 years old
  • Find a connection between E=mc2 and the new ways my body sags in response to time and gravity
  • Freak out about turning 60 in 2014 while daydreaming about retirement
  • Post ridiculous blog articles
  • Admire the dedication of men in uniform
  • Look to God for guidance and wisdom
  • Take a six-week sabbatical this summer and live in camper
  • Publish first book

See how easy it is to make a resolution list that guarantees success! The new year is still 6 days away, and I am already a total success in 2014. Try your own list and realize that you are just fine the way you are!

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