It is true; some of us do not make the best choices in terms of a life partner. It’s the most obvious stuff we tend to overlook, things like emotional availability,  overall compatibility, religious differences, and/or  a shared desire for children (or not).

But Joran Van der Sloot? This is the guy who admitted killing a woman in Peru and who is still the primary suspect in the death of Natalie Holloway, in Aruba. That’s right, a 23 year old woman in Peru, where Van der Sloot spends his days in prison, is planning to marry him. All they are waiting for is the blessing of the prison officials.


Van der Sloot and Uceda, lovebirds

The bride, Leydi Figueroa Uceda, would be interesting to meet. Does she not know that her beloved plead guilty to “cruel and savage” murder and was sentenced to 28 years? Not sensing bad habits like leaving socks all over the place is one thing, but overlooking cruel and savage murder? Red Flag, ladies.

A favorite part of my job is pre-marriage counseling. I love to ask the couple questions about their time dating, their future plans, and why they love their chosen one.  Oh, what I would give to do this pre-marriage counseling.  In my initial session with the beaming couple I would first interview Ms. Uceda. Here is what I would ask:

  • Do you have TV in Peru (I know they do, since my son was there a few years ago)? Do you ever watch it?
  • Do you know that your groom could/would probably kill you on the wedding night?
  • What is it about that him that makes you want to get hitched?
  • Do you actually think he is good looking?
  • What kind of provider could he be, considering he is in prison?
  • What kind of parent might he be?
  • Do you worry about his anger management skills?
  • Isn’t there a nice guy back at home that would be a better husband and father?
  • Is the 15 minutes of fame worth death on the honeymoon?
  • I would also point out the marriage counseling maxim: current behavior is the indicator of future behavior (people don’t change).

My questions for Van der Sloot? I can’ think of any.

But, Ms. Uceda, there is still time for you to figure out that the statistics don’t fall in your favor. Although I have yet to make this pronouncement in marriage counseling I say to you: Run, Leydi, run! And what it that weird thing growing out of your chest?

joran 2

joran 3

Ladies, this is not a good catch

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